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Teaching Patience in the Garden

About two years ago, my wife and I started researching permaculture as another tool to our independence. We aspired to an off-the-grid life filled with freedom and presence. Our permaculture journey started in the Himalayas, as we helped an inspiring Indian visionary establish his Himalayan Farm Project. Until today, I have read a hearty chunk of the permaculture literature out there, watched more documentaries and clips than YouTube could offer and worked in several farms across the world. I eventually attended a PDC in my native south of France and have finally been granted permission to establish our home on a ‘virgin’ piece of land, tucked away in the desert hills of Oaxaca, in Mexico.

Here I am, writing this article from the little battery power I have left on my computer (we are still living by candlelight). I feel this urge to share this experience, as I’m living in a truly exciting and evolutionary moment. We have barely started our adventure into self-reliance, and while my wife Gina nails a few more planks onto our wooden cabin, I work with the land. I have designed an elegant leaf-shaped garden, surrounded by natural fences that will give plenty of food, and planted over 160 varieties of palatable goodness.

It all sounds idyllic (and it is), except maybe that over a month has passed since I planted the first seeds and Gina, anxious to start cooking all the promised deliciousness, keeps asking me for an ETA (an estimated time of arrival… for the greens into her kitchen, that is). Every new day is a disappointment in her eyes as she can’t yet see the garden grow tall and lush. She preferred my drawings, my stories, and the farms we visited. They were more vibrant, more alive….

What she doesn’t understand, though, is that I see it. I see it all unfolding in front of my bewildered eyes. Every little seed is transforming and perpetuating the cycle of life. I see the little greens poking their heads out, exploring the world with each new set of leaves. I see it all take form and grow together. The insects are slowly organizing their society; the aphids are happily eating my sorghum as I patiently await the arrival of the ladybugs. Big frogs find promising new shelters in the piles of rocks I built and the mycelium is running through the mulched paths. The birds grow more curious by the day and start harvesting beetles, flies and other non-identified flying critters. Every morning is another opportunity for me to photograph the crystalline spider webs and celebrate the few millimeters gained by nature. Plunging my nose inside the newborn garden and closer to the soil is always a new adventure for me. I meet all kinds of exotic life forms. I see vibrancy, anarchy and liberty….

I am often shaken out of my Avatar-like bubble when she questions my choices. Are you watering enough? Is the pH level right? Why aren’t they growing faster? And she generally concludes by slowly adding that she doesn’t like the state of the garden now and this is why she pledges to spend more time in it when the plants are tall and bearing food.

I really wanted her to understand my reality and what I was going through. And so, as I was daydreaming in front of my plants, I found the perfect analogy to illustrate my point. I told her:

When we finally have babies, I’d like to meet them when they are 12 years old so we can rock-climb together or go out camping…

And this is how I managed to rekindle my wife’s faith and patience.

3 Comments

  1. Working with the land has opened your eyes. If you want to share what you see with Gina, she will need to work with the land too. That is the only way to find the rhythms of Nature.

  2. Maybe you should try growing ‘baby greens’ (Salad leaves) – We are new to gardening It is our first year experimenting and had edible leaves in about 3 weeks!

  3. I LOVE your analogy. By focussing only on the ready to eat (12 year old child) you totally miss the magic that you are enjoying with your baby plants and then your toddler ones. Then preeschoolers, school aged and then finally 12 year olds ready for the kitchen. :)

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